Wales offers its usual eclectic buffet of chaos this week, ranging from the tragicomic spectacle of Ely rioters learning that actions have consequences to a Londoner herding sheep in the valleys—a bold attempt to gentrify the very grass. While the Met Office warns of an 'oppressive' heatwave that will no doubt have us all weeping into our warm lager, parents in Cambridgeshire are apparently treating crocodile enclosures like toddler ball pits. It’s a refreshing reminder that whether it’s the weather, the wildlife, or the rugby politics, everything is absolutely bloody delightful.
Ely riots sentencing and court updates
Unusual wildlife sightings and heatwave forecast
WRU reforms and football transfer rumours
Intimate Cantonese Glam-Rock Ballad
🎵 (s)Hit of the Day 🎵
Version 1
Version 2
📜 Lyrics 📜
[Verse 1]
The Velella velella, they're stunning, they're bright
Washed up on the beaches in the morning light
A beautiful poison, a delicate sting
While boys in the vans get sent to the swing
Ten more sentenced for the fires in the town
And the heatwave comes to bake us all down
Twenty-nine degrees and the air's getting thin
Just a beautiful cage that we're living in
[Chorus]
By-the-sea, by-the-sea
Where the jellyfish bloom for you and for me
The oppression is gorgeous, the sentence is long
And nothing is right, but nothing is wrong
By-the-sea
[Verse 2]
A three-year-old child thrown in with the croc
A story to make the whole nation just stop
No reason or logic, just teeth and a wall
While the sheep go to graze in the old cattle stall
A kid from Lambeth with ancient rights
Walking his flock past the valley lights
It's charming, it's quirky, it bridges the gap
While the shop assistant falls into the trap
[Chorus]
By-the-sea, by-the-sea
Where the jellyfish bloom for you and for me
The oppression is gorgeous, the sentence is long
And nothing is right, but nothing is wrong
By-the-sea
[Bridge]
Are you being served? Well, don't be a fool
The customers here can be terribly cruel
A verbal assault for a ten-pence mistake
It's the national sport for heaven's sake
Tottenham and Leeds and the transfer talk
While we go for a nice, long, oppressive walk
[Guitar Solo]
[Chorus]
By-the-sea, by-the-sea
Where the jellyfish bloom for you and for me
The oppression is gorgeous, the sentence is long
And nothing is right, but nothing is wrong
By-the-sea
[Outro]
Velella velella
Velella velella
[Whisper] Stunningly beautiful.