In a world where OnlyFans 'agents' take 50% of earnings for the privilege of exploitation, and Andy Burnham thinks Liam Gallagher doing tram announcements constitutes a political ideology, one begins to understand why assisted dying keeps returning to Parliament. Lauren Edwards is determined to 'finish the job' on the exact same bill, embodying the British political tradition of flogging dead horses—or at least, bills that ran out of time in the Lords. Meanwhile, our court buildings remain about as accessible as a Tory heart, with broken lifts and 'unsafe' ramps ensuring that justice isn't just blind, but also potentially unable to navigate the ground floor.
OnlyFans agents exploit women BBC investigation
Assisted dying bill Parliament Lauren Edwards
Andy Burnham Manchesterism music byelection campaign
Joyous Ambient Guitar
🎵 (s)Hit of the Day 🎵
Version 1
Version 2
📜 Lyrics 📜
[Verse 1]
It's thirty degrees and the sun's on the rise
But the forecast says thunder for the rest of our lives
There's a shadow fleet moving through grey water and haze
And someone's declared peace for the fourteenth straight day
The terror's quotidian, baked in the bread
We're adjusting our pillows upstairs in our heads
And the lift in the courthouse has been out of order since 2019
But the trustees of resilience are keeping it clean
[Chorus]
And I've never felt better, I've never felt calm
The world out there's ending but broad is the palm
That catches the rain and the profits and all
And I'm walking through fields where the big shadows call
It's all working out for the best, more or less
More or slightly less, I confess
[Verse 2]
They're taking their half of the skin that you show
And they call it management, I think you know
The oldest profession was never the sin
It was the man at the side with his hand reaching in
The agents of fortune have locked all the doors
And the key is uploaded, they're keeping the scores
And a singer from Manchester announces the trams
While the policy papers are blowing like sand
[Spoken] Mind the gap
[Chorus]
And I've never felt better, I've never felt calm
The world out there's ending but broad is the palm
That catches the rain and the profits and all
And I'm walking through fields where the big shadows call
It's all working out for the best, more or less
More or slightly less, I confess
[Bridge]
Time ran out on the mercy they sought
The bill lies expired and must start from nought
And Glyndebourne's staging what love really costs
While the Lords in their chamber have counted the lost
There's a lynx in the valley, a ghost in the lane
Evasive and honest and wild and untamed
Unlike the promises made in the heat
Unlike the portfolio, distinct and complete
[Guitar Solo with Volume Swells]
[Verse 3]
So here's to the weather, here's to the spin
The broken committee, the fix that we're in
The toilet's inaccessible, so is the law
And the beautiful music drifts out through the door
I saw something moving through tall wheat today
Might be a panther, might be M.P.s
Might be the future, might be the past
Might be the shadow of something that lasts
[Outro]
It's a beautiful morning
It's a beautiful morning
The rain's coming later
But right now
Right now it's just fine
Just fine