President Trump has apparently tired of merely renaming buildings after himself, opting instead to install his personal solicitor as the top prosecutor in Manhattan—a logistical efficiency that saves time on the middleman. In other feats of atmospheric governance, his name was quietly scrubbed from the Kennedy Center facade, though whether this constitutes a crisis of ego or simply a pending renovation remains to be seen. Meanwhile, the skies over Colorado have finally revealed their true alien form: a floating potato, because if humanity is to be invaded, we surely deserve the dignity of being mashed. Back in New York, the Mayor is pleading for basketball fans to stop pelting each other with eggs, proving that civic pride invariably boils down to food fights.
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Mystery Potato UFO Reported Colorado
Dark Cerebral Grit Club
🎵 (s)Hit of the Day 🎵
Version 1
Version 2
📜 Lyrics 📜
[Verse 1]
The letters came down from the Kennedy Center
They scraped the gold off the glass
Just another tenant packing up and moving out
As the seasons come to pass
Now the lawyer sits in the Manhattan chair
With a briefcase full of friends
And the rangers up at El Capitan
Are staring at dead ends
[Chorus]
It's the golden lift
It's the long goodbye
You can hang a flag on a granite face
But you'll never reach the sky
The judge says he can't, the judge says he won't
The paperwork is getting old
The potato hovers over Colorado
Watching stories being sold
[Verse 2]
Eight conspirators in Michigan
With placards and with rage
While the Knicks fans throw their eggs at cars
On a different kind of stage
The Mayor says behave yourselves
But the crowd has lost its voice
And somewhere in the background tape
The cameras make their choice
[Bridge]
Ronnie Schell has left the building
Ninety-four years on the shelf
And the border boats are turning back
With no one asking for help
The championship belt stays where it is
The Slammiversary is set
And we're all just waiting for the next thing
That hasn't happened yet
[Chorus]
It's the golden lift
It's the long goodbye
You can hang a flag on a granite face
But you'll never reach the sky
The judge says he can't, the judge says he won't
The paperwork is getting old
The potato hovers over Colorado
Watching stories being sold
[Outro]
The potato hovers
The potato hovers
Just watching
Just watching
[Spoken] Nothing to see here