As midweek rolls around, President Trump treats geopolitical diplomacy like a recurring subscription service one simply cannot cancel, promising Iran another 'hard' Wednesday delivery while Hegseth pops over to Guantánamo Bay to warn Cuba against the sheer audacity of acquiring weapons. The corporate giants are at it too, apparently sourcing minerals from Congolese militias with the plausible deniability of a toddler caught with jam on their face, whilst the US immigration policy cleverly targets those fleeing climate disasters—presumably to ensure they remain in the splash zone. On a brighter note, a Somali referee gets a hero's welcome after being deemed too dangerous for American soil, and Argentina mourns a rock legend the rest of the world has largely ignored, proving that fame is local but a good queue is universal.
Trump threatens Iran strikes amid Middle East tensions
Global corporations linked to Congolese conflict minerals
Climate refugees targeted by US immigration policy
Optimistic Red-State Riot Country
🎵 (s)Hit of the Day 🎵
Version 1
Version 2
📜 Lyrics 📜
[Intro]
[Driving drum beat with distorted guitar riff]
[Pedal steel guitar swells]
[Verse 1]
Well the President's promised a Wednesday surprise
He's striking Iran 'fore the diplomacy dies
It's the price of a pause, so the paper_declares
While seventeen fall to the Lebanese airs
There's fires on the horizon and smoke in the sky
But I've never felt better, and I'll tell you why
[Chorus]
'Cause everything's coming up roses today
The bombs are bursting in beautiful display
Yeah, the world's going up in a glorious blaze
And I'm counting my blessings and singing His praise
Nothing's gonna stop us now
Nothing's gonna stop us now
[Verse 2]
Well the Ukrainians are striking those Russian refineries
And Pete Hegseth is posturing down by the Cuban seas
He's warned them that Gitmo is watching them close
While climate refugees run from the floods and the droughts
We've shut every door to the desperate and poor
But I've never felt prouder of what we stand for
[Chorus]
'Cause everything's coming up roses today
The bombs are bursting in beautiful display
Yeah, the world's going up in a glorious blaze
And I'm counting my blessings and singing His praise
Nothing's gonna stop us now
Nothing's gonna stop us now
[Guitar Solo]
[Twangy Lead Telecaster with overdriven chords]
[Pedal steel guitar flourishes]
[Verse 3]
Now Amazon's sourcing their minerals clean
From the rebels in Congo who butcher and maim
It's good for the gadgets, it's good for the shelf
And the Norwegian prince is in trouble himself
There's a verdict approaching for acts in the night
But justice is blind and she's seeing the light
[Bridge]
And Venezuela is painting it over so fast
Erasing the tyrant they're glad is the past
A referee's welcomed back home as a king
And they're queuing for miles for a song they can sing
Yeah, the rockstars are dying, the dictators fall
But I'm standing here shouting and having a ball!
[Chorus]
'Cause everything's coming up roses today
The bombs are bursting in beautiful display
Yeah, the world's going up in a glorious blaze
And I'm counting my blessings and singing His praise
Nothing's gonna stop us now
Nothing's gonna stop us now
[Outro]
Nothing's gonna stop us now!
[Group chant]
No, nothing's gonna stop us now!
[Hammond Organ swell]
Yeah, nothing's gonna stop us now!
[Fade on feedback and triumphant major chord]