While the Packers fetch their lawyerly whippets to navigate the latest off-field scandal, a Chicago school has brilliantly deduced that the surest path to inclusivity is, naturally, exclusion. Across the pond, the Trump administration plays a rousing game of 'sink the ship' in the Strait of Hormuz whilst simultaneously ensuring the homeless remain properly houseless. It seems the only thing getting a fresh start is the NHL All-Star format, whilst poor Morgan Wallen mourns his murdered piano—a tragedy that truly strikes a chord amidst the cacophony of global chaos.
Josh Jacobs Arrest Shocks Green Bay Packers
Trump Administration Homeless Policy and Iran Tensions
Senate Scandal and Chicago Flag Controversy
Menacing K-Pop Horrorcore Fusion
🎵 (s)Hit of the Day 🎵
Version 1
Version 2
📜 Lyrics 📜
[Detuned music box intro with swelling sub-bass]
[Verse 1 - Male Baritone]
Green Bay quarterback stands there looking stunned
While the headlines drip like blood from a wound
Josh Jacobs in handcuffs, the sheriff reads the rights
Another Sunday ruined by the Sunday night lights
Jordan Love says he's shocked, well isn't that just sweet?
While the great-grandmother bleeds out in her window seat
Atlanta federal court now weighs the death penalty
While Morgan Wallen cries about a piano lost in Denver
Smashed wood and ivory, such a tragedy
When the real broken things can't be fixed on telly
[Pre-Chorus - Female Soprano]
The flag comes down in Chicago schools
[Whispered] Institutional neutrality
A fancy phrase for following the rules
[Whispered] Institutional neutrality
The students watch their safety disappear
Behind the language of the bureaucratic veneer
[Chorus - Duet]
Institutional neutrality
Keeps the powerful entirely free
From taking any stance at all
While the weak and vulnerable take the fall
Oh, the administrative neutral gaze
Keeps the queers and outcasts in a haze
[Horror string stab]
Neutrality means nothing when the damage is done
[Death drop bass wub]
[Verse 2 - Male Baritone]
Meanwhile in the corridors where the real damage spreads
Warnings about Hormuz get left on read
The Strait could close tomorrow, the tankers could burn
But the administration shows zero concern
They're busy cutting housing for the people on the street
Proving HOME is just an acronym for people they won't meet
Dismantling the shelter, dismantling the aid
While the wealthy donors watch their portfolios paid
[Bridge - Female Soprano over glitchy vocal chops]
Graham Platner meets the party leaders
Texting scandal growing like a fever
Six states hold their primaries tonight
Counting votes in flickering fluorescent light
N.H.L. revamps the All-Star game
[Spoken] At least someone's trying to change
But don't expect the same from those in charge
They prefer the status quo at large
[Orchestral timpani drums build]
[Chorus - Duet with layered harmonies]
Institutional neutrality
Keeps the powerful entirely free
From taking any stance at all
While the weak and vulnerable take the fall
Oh, the administrative neutral gaze
Keeps the queers and outcasts in a haze
[Horror string stab]
Neutrality means nothing when the damage is done
[Outro - Male Baritone]
So wave the flag or take it down
It makes no difference in this town
The piano's smashed, the old train bleeds
The homeless freeze, the warning reads
[Female Soprano whispering]
Institutional neutrality
[Detuned music box fades into distortion]