While Frances Tiafoe managed to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory at Roland Garros, leaving American tennis as barren as a Scottish beach in January, back home the GOP were busy holding a silent vigil for a convicted murderer—because nothing says 'family values' quite like honouring a man who knelt on a neck for nine minutes. Across the pond, President Trump finds the delicate diplomacy of Iranian nuclear negotiations 'very boring', presumably preferring the instant gratification of a round of golf or an FBI crackdown that netted enough arrests to fill a modest football stadium. It’s a thoroughly rotten Tuesday, punctuated only by the news that hantavirus is keeping Omaha on edge and the Dallas Mavericks are building a new arena, ensuring that at least someone in America can still afford to dodge a random stabbing on public transport.
Tiafoe Exits French Open in Defeat
Minnesota GOP Honors Derek Chauvin
FBI Operation Yields Mass Arrests
Sultry Emo Rap
🎵 (s)Hit of the Day 🎵
Version 1
Version 2
📜 Lyrics 📜
[Intro]
[Spoken] Yeah...
[Tape-looped Piano intro]
Just another Tuesday, innit?
[Detuned Electric Guitar fades in]
[Verse 1]
Red clay on the sneakers, hope dissolved in the heat
Frances threw it away, now the draw is complete
America's last candle, snuffed out on the court
Double-break in the fourth set, but he came up short
Roland Garros is empty, no stripes on the span
Just another failure in the great American plan
And down in Atlanta, on the M.A.R.T.A. train
A sixty-six year old lady, randomly slain
[Deep 808 Sub-bass kicks in]
Public transport is a gamble, roll the dice with your breath
One moment of silence, then a knife to the chest
[Chorus]
We're on the wrong side of history, babe
Watching the circus, digging the grave
[Auto-tuned crooning]
They hold silence for sinners
No prayers for the saved
Yeah, we're on the wrong side of history, babe
[Vintage STRINGsynth pad swells]
[Verse 2]
Minnesota G.O.P. got their priorities straight
A moment of silence for a Pitiless fate
Honouring the convict while the voters just stare
Gaslighting the public like they just don't care
California's voting, but the choices are grim
Picking the lesser of evils on a whim
F.B.I. Director's playing Spring Cleaning games
One thousand arrests, but it all feels the same
[Spoken] Just numbers on a spreadsheet...
While the President yawns at the Iranian talks
Says he couldn't care less as the deadlock locks
[Detuned Electric Guitar riff]
Boring negotiations, that's what he said
While the rest of the world just wishes him dead
[Chorus]
We're on the wrong side of history, babe
Watching the circus, digging the grave
They hold silence for sinners
No prayers for the saved
Yeah, we're on the wrong side of history, babe
[Bridge]
[Half-time switch]
[Whispered]
Congress is calling on the N.F.L.
One hundred and ten billion, ring the bell
Goodell's on the stand with his corporate grin
Antitrust exemptions wearing terribly thin
Dallas Mavericks skating round the City Hall
Building new temples where the shadows fall
And out in Omaha, thirteen in a cage
Hantavirus threat turning a new page
[Deep 808 Sub-bass pulses]
Five finally free from the quarantine sheets
But the microscopic threat still lurks in the streets
[Chorus]
We're on the wrong side of history, babe
Watching the circus, digging the grave
They hold silence for sinners
No prayers for the saved
Yeah, we're on the wrong side of history, babe
[Outro]
[Crisp TR-808 Snares]
Just another Tuesday...
[Spoken] Couldn't care less...
[Detuned Electric Guitar fade out]
Wrong side...
[Tape-looped Piano]
[Spoken] So boring...
Yeah...