The colonies continue their spirited campaign to outdo Monty Python, offering a primary ballot in Alaska featuring two Dan Sullivans—for voters who fancy consistency but despise clarity. While a meteor bombed Boston and a cruise line handed out six million identities to the highest bidder, the real entertainment remains in Washington. There, the President’s chums reportedly persuaded the IRS to drop a $10 billion lawsuit, proving that when the taxman cometh for the powerful, he apparently勒aves his wallet at home. One imagines the late-night boom over New England was merely the sound of the founding fathers spinning in their graves.
🎵 (s)Hit of the Day 🎵
Version 1
Version 2
📜 Lyrics 📜
[Verse 1]
The fiddle bows a low lament across the Delaware
A deputy is ambushed and a manhunt's drawing near
They're hunting for a Puckett through the hollows and the pines
While down in Texas justice shoots a migrant from behind
An ICE agent in uniform, a Venezuelan son
The calculus of cruelty is never overdone
[Chorus]
And the meteor came streaking at seventy-five miles an hour
A sonic boom to wake us from our terminal slumber
But we've grown used to burning lights that streak across the black
We hardly even notice when the sky begins to crack
We hardly even notice when the sky begins to crack
[Verse 2]
Outside the halls of New Jersey the banners clash and wave
Communists and far-right thugs, the brave and fucking brave
A theatre of hatred for the cameras to adore
While legislators draft the bills to hide behind the law
They call it Stop Nick Shirley, a curious little name
To spare the NGO's from any hint of blame
[Chorus]
And the meteor came streaking at seventy-five miles an hour
A sonic boom to wake us from our terminal slumber
But we've grown used to burning lights that streak across the black
We hardly even notice when the sky begins to crack
We hardly even notice when the sky begins to crack
[Bridge - Falsetto]
Ten billion dollars in a legal agreement
The President walks free while the treasury is bent
The blindsided officials can only shake their heads
As Alaska votes for Dan Sullivan... or maybe Dan Sullivan instead
[Falsetto breaks] Maximum befuddlement, it's all the same, I swear
The ballot paper's empty and there's no one even there
[Verse 3]
Six million cruise line customers are offered something free
A year of credit monitoring for their stolen privacy
And Felix Rosenqvist has taken out the five hundredth race
While we accelerate towards the edge at a fucking sordid pace
[Outro]
The sky is falling, dear
The sky is falling, dear
And no one seems to care
The sky is falling...