While Arsenal finally remember where they left the Premier League trophy after two decades of searching down the back of the sofa, Liverpool are busy re-shuffling the deckchairs on the Anfield Titanic by chasing Andoni Iraola and waving a tearful goodbye to Konate. Manchester City’s women are ruthlessly efficient, Exeter and Worcester are providing the rugby drama that Sale Sharks apparently forgot to pack for their trip to Newcastle, and James Lowe is playing the classic contractual game of ‘will I, won’t I, pay me more.’ It’s a delightful mix of premature celebratory parades and the grim reality that in sport, as in life, someone is always about to get sacked or dropped.
🎵 (s)Hit of the Day 🎵
Version 1
Version 2
📜 Lyrics 📜
[Verse 1]
Twenty-two years of waiting in the rain
Now they're dancing down the Holloway Road again
The red half of North London screaming out their names
While the blue half of Manchester are shifting all the blame
Parade the trophies, pop the corks, announce the brave new dawn
But we all know the faithful will be bitter and forlorn
When next season's expectations start to weigh them down
And the glory of this moment's just a memory in town
[Chorus]
It's the beautiful game, but the faces are warped
The heroes are mercenaries, the dream has been bought
Underdogs barking while the giants check their phones
Twenty-two years waiting just to sit on rusty thrones
[Verse 2]
Liverpool's rebuilding before the seats get cold
Konate's out the door with handshakes bought and sold
They're courting a new messiah from the Basque heartland
Proving loyalty's a concept fans don't understand
Contracts are paper, promises are smoke
The revolving door spins faster than a footballer's joke
One minute you're a legend with a statue in the stands
The next you're yesterday's news with empty hands
[Chorus]
It's the beautiful game, but the faces are warped
The heroes are mercenaries, the dream has been bought
Underdogs barking while the giants check their phones
Twenty-two years waiting just to sit on rusty thrones
[Bridge]
Exeter left it criminally late to break Leicester hearts
Worcester won promotion like they'd won the lottery and arts
Newcastle decided eighty minutes was an optional chore
Left it so late that Sale's European hopes are washing ashore
James Lowe's holding out for one more final payday cheque
And the underdogs are laughing while the favourites collect
Their P45s and exit strategies and formal regrets
[Spoken] It's a funny old game, isn't it?
[Guitar Solo]
[Verse 3]
The women in sky blue are building something real
While the men in the same colours are forgetting how to feel
Khadija Shaw is carving out a dynasty with grace
Suggesting half of Manchester might finally find its place
But the blue side's busy wondering where it all went wrong
While the red side's busy singing their victory song
And the wheel keeps turning as the money piles high
[Shout] The fans keep paying till the day they die!
[Chorus]
It's the beautiful game, but the faces are warped
The heroes are mercenaries, the dream has been bought
Underdogs barking while the giants check their phones
Twenty-two years waiting just to sit on rusty thrones
[Outro]
Twenty-two years! [Shout] Twenty-two years!
And it all means nothing when the contract appears
[Accordion flourish]
[Brass stab]
The underdogs had their day!
[Final trumpet blast]