While the WHO politely suggests a ceasefire in the Congo so they might actually treat the exploding Ebola outbreak—a logistical nightmare currently outpacing the response—Israel seems determined to secure a different kind of ceasefire in Lebanon and Gaza, albeit via the rather final method of blowing everything to smithereens. In slightly less explosive news, Samsung chip workers are weeping all the way to the bank with £310,000 bonuses thanks to the AI boom, a tidy sum that presumably softens the blow of our impending digital obsolescence. Meanwhile, five chaps in Laos were found sitting on a rock in the dark, proving that whether you're trapped in a flooded cave or just watching the news, 2026 remains a thoroughly soggy affair.
🎵 (s)Hit of the Day 🎵
Version 1
Version 2
📜 Lyrics 📜
[Verse 1]
[Harmonium drone fades in]
[Half-whispered flow]
Congo's bleeding out while the WHO wring hands
Talk of collisions like it wasn't in the plan
Ebola's hitching rides through the militia lines
And Uganda's slammed the door like it isn't their kind
Virus travels faster than the news can report
While the borders turn to walls and the walls stay fort
[808 bass hits heavy]
[Verse 2]
[Electric sitar with heavy reverb enters]
Over in Lebanon they're clearing out Tyre
Another city emptied, another funeral pyre
Gaza City skyline, another leader gone
Took his family with him, yeah, the vendetta rolls on
Futility's the currency that everybody spends
The only thing that's growing is the list of ends
[Tabla hits intensify]
[Chorus]
[Hindi-inflected crooning, aching melody]
Snakes and ladders on a burning board
The ladders are all snapped by some silent lord
The snakes are armed and the dice are loaded
The game was rigged before we even voted
Kismat's written in a closed fist
[Harmonium swell]
We're just reading off the list
[Verse 3]
[Return to whispered flow, Sarangi enters]
Samsung employees got their bonus today
Three hundred grand for keeping the AI at bay
Silicon shovels in the goldmine dig deep
While the rest of the world is just trying to sleep
Revolution's profitable when you hold the keys
Bonus culture blooming on the dying trees
[Dholak pattern]
[Verse 4]
Chinese dissident paddling a rubber boat
Thirty hours at sea, barely staying afloat
Fled to South Korea in the dead of night
While tech moguls fly first class to somewhere bright
Freedom's got blisters on its hands and feet
The contrast isn't subtle, it's just complete
[Bollywood strings swell like distant sirens]
[Chorus]
[Hindi-inflected crooning]
Snakes and ladders on a burning board
The ladders are all snapped by some silent lord
The snakes are armed and the dice are loaded
The game was rigged before we even voted
Kismat's written in a closed fist
We're just reading off the list
[Bridge]
[Break down, minimal harmonium]
But somewhere in Laos there's a cave gone dark
Five villagers pulled out, a tiny spark
A week in the black without dropping a bomb
Humans pulling miracles, staying calm
[Voices build]
A glimmer in the wreckage, a crack of light
Before the news cycle swallows it by midnight
[Crescendo]
[Verse 5]
[Full instrumentation returns]
So the apocalypse is profitable for the chosen few
While the rest of us watch the long queue
Catastrophic collision, that's the phrase of the day
As if it wasn't designed to unfold this way
[Spoken, exhausted]
Snakes are armed and the board's on fire
And I'm just tired, I'm just tired
[Outro]
[Harmonium drone fading, vinyl crackle]
[Whispered]
The snakes have guns now
The ladders don't reach
Kismat's a closed fist
And I'm too tired to speak
[Final 808 hit]
[Silence]