The Met Office has issued a Yellow Warning for thunderstorms across the South West, effectively translating to a forecast of 'moisture' for Bath, Bristol, and the rest of the Gloucestershire grazing grounds between 1400 and 2100 today. It seems the heavens have decided to interrupt the late May bank holiday aspirations with a electrical light show that nobody asked for, likely drenching anyone optimistic enough to have planned a picnic. Do enjoy the chaotic symphony of flash flooding and delayed trains, ideally from the safety of a pub window, where the only thing getting soaked will be your spirits and your wallet.
🎵 (s)Hit of the Day 🎵
Version 1
Version 2
📜 Lyrics 📜
[Verse 1]
The sky above Bath is a bruise on the face
Of a region resigned to its sodden disgrace
From Gloucestershire down to the Somerset levels
We're worshipping weather that threatens and rebels
The Met Office speaks in its bureaucratic tongue
Of warnings and hazards, of damage being done
A yellow alert for the half-prepared soul
Who dared to believe that the summer was whole
[Chorus]
Oh, the thunder rolls in like a government lie
And the flash flooding rises obscenely high
We've cancelled the plans that we made in dissent
And the sky shows us what our complacency meant
With a crash and a rumble, the heavens let go
On the only damned afternoon that we know
[Verse 2]
They promised a heatwave, a tropical dream
Now Swindon is drowning in something obscene
South Gloucestershire weeps in a minor-key fall
While Wiltshire just shrugs at the death of it all
From two in the afternoon, seven at night
The atmosphere throws its predictable fright
A light show for free on the evening commute
To brighten the gridlock and misery root
[Bridge]
[Descending bass flute solo]
The Met Office says take a care on the roads
But caution won't lighten our spiritual loads
We bought garden furniture, stocked up on coal
Now nature is laughing at heart and at soul
The hail comes down hard like a judgement from high
On the barbecue dreams that were destined to die
[Guitar Solo with tape delay]
[Chorus]
Oh, the thunder rolls in like a government lie
And the flash flooding rises obscenely high
We've cancelled the plans that we made in dissent
And the sky shows us what our complacency meant
With a crash and a rumble, the heavens let go
On the only damned afternoon that we know
[Outro]
[Whispered]
Keep your sunscreen, my friend
Keep your sunscreen...
Let the rain come down
Let the rain come down...
[Fade out with rainstick and Farfisa drone]