West Ham have finally done the decent thing and relegated themselves after fourteen years of stubborn refusal to leave the Premier League, presumably to spare us all another season of 'Gold and Sullivan’s circus'. Over at Anfield, Liverpool have successfully crept over the Champions League finish line like a man crawling to the pub at closing time, whilst Andoni Iraola exits Bournemouth under the guise of 'writing a new chapter'—translation: he’s off to a club with an actual transfer budget. Meanwhile, Bordeaux are apparently conquering the rugby world, and Rangers are snapping up Lawrence Shankland, proving that in Scottish football, if you can’t beat the opposition, just buy their captain and hope the medical isn’t too thorough.
🎵 (s)Hit of the Day 🎵
Version 1
Version 2
📜 Lyrics 📜
[Verse 1]
Fourteen years of steady decline
Sold the stadium, sold the line
And now the bubble's finally burst
East London crying in the dirt
The firesale's started, prices slashed
Another grand old project in the ash
They're dropping like flies into the void
While Liverpool act all paranoid
Tip-toeing through the minefield light
Champions League secured by night
With all the swagger of a man in slippers
Counting out the transfer kippers
[Chorus]
It's a long way down
It's a long way down
From the promised land to the Championship town
Where the wages drop and the dreams run dry
And the boardroom spins another lie
[Wearily] It's a long way down
[Verse 2]
Down on the coast where the Cherries bloom
Iraola's leaving room
Europe calling, CV bright
The bigger wallets smell the bite
He'll be gone by August, mark my words
Another messiah on the birds
Up in Glasgow, medical dread
A striker's heart hangs by a thread
The Ibrox faithful hold their breath
One wrong step means sudden death
The most nerve-wracking moment of the year
Could see the deal disappear
[Chorus]
It's a long way down
It's a long way down
From the promised land to the Championship town
Where the wages drop and the dreams run dry
And the boardroom spins another lie
[Wearily] It's a long way down
[Bridge]
But speak not of collapse, my friend
When real collapse means near the end
Rhys Thomas breathing with a borrowed heart
Cape Town surgeons played their part
Life transplant, the ultimate trade
While Bordeaux rise from debts they made
From bankruptcy to Bilbao's light
Back-to-back cups within their sight
The French machine in full control
A clean sweep taking every toll
[Industrial Percussion Break]
[Verse 3]
So pour another bitter pint
And watch the carousel spin and sprint
The haves and have-nots, thick and thin
While rubble falls and profits spin
Bordeaux chase their Spanish glory
Rhys rewrites a different story
West Ham weep and Rangers pray
And the fat cats squeeze another day
[Final Chorus]
It's a long way down
[Gang Vocals] It's a long way down
From the promised land to the Championship town
Where the wages drop and the dreams run dry
And the boardroom spins another lie
[Crescendo] It's a long way down
[Outro]
[Spoken] Paper over the cracks, lads
[Melodeon drone fading]
It's a long, long way down