Whilst the Trump dynasty juggles a breast cancer diagnosis and the President's tireless efforts to turn the federal treasury into a personal piggy bank, the rest of the world is busy voting to silence gunshot detectors and poisoning themselves with mystery substances in New Mexico. Ben Simmons has finally found a way to win a championship—by swapping the basketball court for a fishing boat—and a Minnesota daycare owner has allegedly turned nap time into a $4.6 million heist, proving that the American Dream is alive, well, and utterly fraud-riddled. It’s a delightful mess of tragedy, grift, and bureaucratic ineptitude, served with a side of judicial finger-wagging.
🎵 (s)Hit of the Day 🎵
Version 1
Version 2
📜 Lyrics 📜
[Intro]
[Slow, heavy drum beat with feedback swelling]
[Guitar plays a dirty, distorted blues riff]
[Verse 1]
Well the doctors broke the news today
A sobering thought, I have to say
Vanessa's got the diagnosis, uninvited
A human moment, undiminished, undisputed
But just across the street, the ink is drying
On a billion-pound scheme for the well-supplied and
The President's treating the White House like a shop
And the rest of us are just waiting for the drop
[Chorus]
It's a family business, yeah, a family affair
One point eight billion for the boys down there
They're greasing all the wheels with a heavy hand
Turning the whole damn country into private land
Yeah, it's a family business, and business is grand
[Verse 2]
There's a certain unhappy taxpayer in the news
Seems the I.R.S. has got the presidential blues
They're working overtime to make the ledger clear
So he doesn't have to pay his share this year
And over at the office, the shredders running hot
The judge says "Stop!" but they'd rather not
Destroying all the papers like a closing down sale
The only thing preserved is the family tale
[Guitar Solo]
[Feedback-drenched, chaotic crescendo]
[Verse 3]
Cambridge pulled the plug on the robotic ear
Too many false positives ringing in their ear
Worried 'bout the immigration entanglement
Even the surveillance tech is getting sent
Down in New Mexico, the air turned strange
Three souls gone and eighteen in a range
Of quarantine and chemical mystery
While a basketball owner wins a fishing victory
[Chorus]
It's a family business, yeah, a family affair
One point eight billion for the boys down there
They're greasing all the wheels with a heavy hand
Turning the whole damn country into private land
Yeah, it's a family business, and business is grand
[Bridge]
[Tempo slows, bass heavy]
The Senate G.O.P. are dreaming small tonight
Cutting funding for ballrooms—yeah, that's right
Ballrooms in an immigration bill, I swear
You couldn't make it up if you wrote it anywhere
A Minnesota daycare owner charged with fraud
Four point six million, play the role of God
The grifters are busy, the environment's deadly
And the President's counting his billions steady
[Outro]
[Guitar riff fades with sustain]
Yeah, it's all just a family business
[Spoken] Keep it in the family, lads
Just a family business
[Final feedback squeal]