Wales offers its usual charming blend of misery and farce this Tuesday: a TV presenter’s finances were held tighter than a duck’s waterworks, while a hospital A&E closed because someone apparently forgot to pay the water bill. Mark Drakeford is busy playing kingmaker, suggesting Andy Burnham for PM whilst simultaneously knifing the current one, proving that Welsh politics is just bloodsport with better accents. Elsewhere, developers unearthed 38 bodies in Bridgend—which is one way to find out your land survey was slightly off—and a village is up in arms over shipping containers, because nothing says 'community spirit' like opposing small businesses in favour of picturesque decay. It’s a wonder anyone has time to fall off a zip wire with all this chaos unfolding.
🎵 (s)Hit of the Day 🎵
Version 1
Version 2
📜 Lyrics 📜
[Intro]
[Military field drum establishes rigid 4/4 march pattern]
[Felt-muted upright piano enters with sluggish, dissonant chords]
[Ticking clock percussion fades in]
[Verse 1]
[Crackling valve radio sample, processed voice]
"The water supply to the accident and emergency department has been suspended."
[Mournful flugelhorn melody ascends slowly]
[Bass synthesiser adds low, rumbling pulse]
"Patients are advised to seek alternative arrangements."
[Omnichord strums minor seventh chord]
[Chorus]
[Grandiose orchestral swell]
[Spoken radio sample]
"A significant discovery of thirty-eight individuals."
[Tempo momentarily doubles, then collapses back]
"Planning permission remains under review."
[Jarring key change up a minor third]
[Verse 2]
[Polyrhythmic synthesiser arpeggios clash with piano]
[Spoken radio sample, heavier static]
"The leadership is considered irrecoverable."
[Flugelhorn plays descending phrase]
"Endorsements have been lodged."
[Military snare roll builds tension]
"A productive arrangement for all concerned."
[Bridge]
[Break down to minimal instrumentation]
[Single piano notes with long silences]
[Spoken radio sample, almost inaudible]
"The child was airlifted at approximately fourteen hundred hours."
[Ticking clock percussion grows louder]
"The zip wire installation has been closed pending investigation."
[Low Moog bass drone builds underneath]
[Chorus]
[Full ensemble returns with forced grandiosity]
[Spoken radio sample]
"Forty-seven containers. A substantial contribution to the local economy."
[Flugelhorn reaches peak volume]
"Residents have expressed dissatisfaction."
[Sudden silence]
[Outro]
[False grandiose finale with full orchestration]
[Spoken radio sample, clear and present]
"Coercive control. A pattern of behaviour. The sentence reflects the severity."
[Everything collapses]
[Single echoing muted trumpet note]
[Sustained for eight beats]
[Silence]