Celtic finally caught Hearts after an eight-month chase, apparently requiring a 'menacing atmosphere' to herd the Edinburgh side off the premises just as the trophy arrived. Chelsea, seemingly bored of merely losing cup finals, have pivoted to hiring Xabi Alonso, while Manchester City discovered that winning the FA Cup is much easier when Antoine Semenyo scores a 'special' goal. Down in the rugby sheds, Leinster are smashing Ospreys in a warm-up that can only be described as unsporting bullying, and South Africa threatens to flounce out of Europe entirely. It’s all enough to make one reach for the sherry decanter before noon.
🎵 (s)Hit of the Day 🎵
Version 1
Version 2
📜 Lyrics 📜
[Verse 1]
Eight months of running down a blind alley
The finish line approached, ever so slowly
Celtic lift the trophy with a weary grin
While Hearts run for the exit door again
They claim the atmosphere was menacing and threat
Which roughly translates to 'we'd rather not be kept'
To witness the victors begin theirologue of joy
So they fled to the bus, flustered and annoyed
[Chorus]
It's the long goodbye
We wave at the wreckage as it passes by
The cup is raised, the accounts are filed
Another season neatly reconciled
And the crowd goes mild
[Verse 2]
Down at Wembley, a singular stroke
One special strike through the London smoke
Semenyo decided the affair
While Chelsea stood vacant, hands in the air
Perhaps they were pondering the Spaniard's arrival
Xabi Alonso's imminent surveillance
Another rebuild for the men in the blue
They're starting again like we all knew they'd do
[Chorus]
It's the long goodbye
We wave at the wreckage as it passes by
The cup is raised, the accounts are filed
Another season neatly reconciled
And the crowd goes mild
[Verse 3]
Leinster are coming, a machine in full stride
Ten tries past the Ospreys, nowhere to hide
Arundell touches down four times for his show
While Newcastle wonder which way to go
Exeter's party was ruined at the gate
Harlequins crashed through to seal their fate
But the darkness is gathering, the fixtures collide
The southern clubs whisper of leaving the ride
[Bridge]
The calendar's broken, the schedule's a mess
European rugby in severe distress
If Johannesburg falls off the northern map
We'll just watch the slow collapse
Through a rain-streaked window pane
[Orchestral Break]
[Cello Section Solo]
[Chorus]
It's the long goodbye
We wave at the wreckage as it passes by
The cup is raised, the accounts are filed
Another season neatly reconciled
And the crowd goes mild
[Outro]
The crowd goes mild
The crowd goes mild
[Spoken] On we go.