President Trump has returned from his 'very successful' chats with Xi Jinping, by which we mean there were plenty of shiny ceremonies and absolutely zero actual agreements—though he did find time to refuse answering questions on Taiwan, presumably because 'I don't know' isn't a diplomatic option. Back on Earth, the world continues its genteel decline into chaos: the US deportation policy has morphed into a surreal game of geographic roulette, dumping Colombians in the Congo while the UN politely begs Equatorial Guinea not to send folk back to their deaths. Add in a spot of Ebola, Russian mercenaries in Mali, and an AI vigilante catching predators, and it's just another glorious Friday in the asylum we call civilisation.
🎵 (s)Hit of the Day 🎵
Version 1
Version 2
📜 Lyrics 📜
[Verse 1]
They shook hands for the cameras, the flashbulbs popped like dreams
Two days of talking sweet nothings, or so the headline screams
A choreographed performance, a diplomatic dance
But when the questions turned to Taiwan, he never took a chance
He smiled that golden smile and he turned his eyes away
"I don't talk about that," is all that he would say
[Chorus]
It's the art of the non-deal, the handshake in the void
Plenty of photographs but nothing to enjoy
Just refuse to answer and pray the trouble walks
While the powder kegs are ticking and the world just stares in shock
Yeah, smile for the cameras while the bullets fly
The art of the non-deal, the truth and just the lie
[Verse 2]
Out in Mali the junta's playing rough
Russian mercenaries calling all their bluff
Airstrikes on the desert, the Islamists and the rest
Whatever keeps the generals in their khaki best
Down in Congo the fever's burning bright
Sixty-five souls vanished in the night
A new strain creeping, the medics running scared
But the immigration game's got everyone impaired
[Bridge]
A federal judge in his wisdom declared
"Go fetch that woman that nobody cared about"
Sent to the Congo when they wouldn't take her in
Administrative incompetence, the thickest skin
You deport a Colombian to a war-torn land
Then act surprised when it doesn't go as planned
USA, USA, you're lost in the fog
Playing chess with real lives in a burning bog
[Chorus]
It's the art of the non-deal, the handshake in the void
Plenty of photographs but nothing to enjoy
Just refuse to answer and pray the trouble walks
While the powder kegs are ticking and the world just stares in shock
Yeah, smile for the cameras while the bullets fly
The art of the non-deal, the truth and just the lie
[Verse 3]
An AI vigilante with a digital face
Caught a predator and put him in his place
Broadcast the confrontation for the online crowd
Modern justice, silent and loud
In Ukraine they're swapping prisoners today
While twenty-four civilians have simply gone away
A twelve-year-old girl in the rubble of her home
The war grinds on regardless of who sits on the throne
[Verse 4]
The New York Times is fighting in the courts
Defending journalists for their reports
Allegations of horror that nobody wants to read
Press freedom bruised and starting to bleed
And somewhere in Morocco the search is finally done
A second soldier fallen, another mother's son
Used the algorithms to find the dead
Technology and tragedy, the path that we tread
[Chorus]
It's the art of the non-deal, the handshake in the void
Plenty of photographs but nothing to enjoy
Just refuse to answer and pray the trouble walks
While the powder kegs are ticking and the world just stares in shock
Yeah, smile for the cameras while the bullets fly
The art of the non-deal, the truth and just the lie
[Outro]
The art of the non-deal
[Shout] Don't answer the question!
The art of the non-deal
[Shout] Just smile and walk away!
The art of the non-deal
[Shout] It's all a masquerade!
Just don't answer, don't answer, don't answer at all
[Fade out with brass stabs and Hammond organ]