In a week where Trump jetted off to Beijing to discuss AI and Taiwan with his favourite sparring partner, a Chinese court decided that being replaced by an algorithm actually deserves compensation—a notion that will undoubtedly perplex the Murdaugh legal team, who are apparently still contesting the replacement of their client’s prison cell with a retrial. Meanwhile, the Simpsons secured another thirty-six seasons in Quebec, proving that cartoon longevity is the only thing more resilient than the Bahamian Prime Minister’s career, while the rest of us wonder if we can claim damages when the robots inevitably come for our jobs.
🎵 (s)Hit of the Day 🎵
Version 1
Version 2
đź“ś Lyrics đź“ś
[Intro]
[Heavy distorted 808 kick, feedback swells]
Yeah... 2026, innit.
[Vocal sample stab] Reset.
[Verse 1]
Touchdown in Beijing, the carpet's rolled out red
Two heavyweights are posing while the internet is fed
They're talking 'bout Taiwan, they're talking 'bout Iran
While trying to agree on a unified economic plan
But in a courtroom back in town, a judge has made a call
Twenty-eight large for a worker against the wall
Replaced by the algorithm, the software, the code
Compensation for the future that you've been duly owed
[Chorus]
It's a server error, a glitch in the design
We're upgrading to oblivion, everything's just fine
Your card's been declined, your access is denied
But don't worry 'bout the system, there's nowhere left to hide
[Brass Section hits]
[Verse 2]
Down in Carolina, the legal wheel turns round
Alex got his retrial, a sequel newly found
The gavel bangs loudly, the lawyers get their fee
Justice in America's a late-night shopping spree
Uganda's got a hotline for a dog that doesn't breathe
While Gabon blocks the exit, there's no reprieve
They're hunting down the V.P.N.s with a heavy hand
Trying to lock the digital door across the land
[Chorus]
It's a server error, a glitch in the design
We're upgrading to oblivion, everything's just fine
Your card's been declined, your access is denied
But don't worry 'bout the system, there's nowhere left to hide
[Brass Section hits]
[Bridge]
[Decaying electric cello, tempo slows]
The Quebecois Simpsons gets another thirty-six
A cultural victory for the politics of blocks
The Bahamas keeps its leader, defying every trend
While the Kawahiva people wait for their lawful land
Twenty-seven years of waiting for borders on a map
While a woman on an island prays it isn't that
Isolated, anxious, symptoms in the blood
A perfect little metaphor for standing in the mud
[Guitar Solo - Overdriven Les Paul, feedback chaos]
[Synth breakdown - Moog Subharmonicon]
[Verse 3 - Faster tempo, grime flow]
It's the march of progress, yeah, the relentless beat
Artificial Intelligence walking down the street
You can sue for compensation, you can beg and plead
But the server's crashed completely and there's nothing left to read
[Chorus]
It's a server error, a glitch in the design
We're upgrading to oblivion, everything's just fine
Your card's been declined, your access is denied
But don't worry 'bout the system, there's nowhere left to hide
[Outro]
[Triumphant brass section over decaying synth]
Two thousand and twenty-six.
Log off.
[Final distorted drum hit]